Tired of the same old finger prints day in and day out? Well no more! This shiney new guide to removing your finger prints can be yours for 6 easy payments of .......NOTHING!
I wonder if it works on toes too?
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FINGERPRINTS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Wolf J. Flywheel
Okay, you're probably thinking "But it's impossible to change your fingerprints!Everyone knows that!" Most people (including various flavors of cops) blindlybelieve that, but it just ain't true. So shake that particular bit of societalprogramming out of your head and read on.
DISCLAIMERS~~~~~~~~~~~Be sure to read through this entire file before attempting anything!This file is for informational purposes only. The author (that's me) doesn'tever do anything wrong (heh) and is not responsible for any consequencesresulting from anybody actually following the procedures in this file, includingbut not limited to bodily harm, legal trouble, world destruction, and/or spilledbeverages.I haven't personally done this, but have been assured by someone who has as toits reliability. This individual, in order to elude the law, did successfullychange his fingerprints. While at large for a number of years he was arrestedand fingerprinted six times, both in the United States and Canada, for offensesranging from bank robbery to attempted murder. Computers always returned theresponse "Unknown" when requested to search for a criminal record.If you've been printed by authorities before, and they should get a hold of youagain sometime in the future, it may just be better for you if they didn't knowthat you just happen to be, say, the "unknown accomplice" in the Okie CityBombing. Or Nicole Brown Simpson's "real killer." Or Kevin M!tn!ck.Whatever.If you're going to change your prints, it's best if you first research all youcan find about fingerprints and their applications in forensics. Here are thecliff notes for you lazy types, but if you are serious about doing this youshould at least take the trouble to hit your local library and crack a book ortwo.
FINGERPRINTS~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fingerprints are classified according to ridge line patterns. These patternsare divided into three main groups; the arch, the loop, and the whorl. Theseare further divided anto eight subgroups; the plain arch, tented arch, radialloop, ulnar loop, central pocket loop, double loop, plain whorl, and accidentalwhorl.Prints are filed and classified by "ridge counts." The ridge count is thenumber of ridges between the core (the center of the fingerprint pattern) andthe delta (the formation in front or near the center). The delta is a pointon the first fork, a meeting of two ridges, an abrupt ridge ending, a dot, apiece of a ridge or any point upon the ridge at or nearest to the center ofdivergence of the type lines. It is the position used as the starting point forridge counting.Each ridge that crosses or touches an imaginary straight line drawn from thecore to the delta is counted. A different count is made for each finger. Thisis because while one right index finger may register a count of 7 ridges, theleft index finger may only count 3. A fingerprint point identification is basedon 12 to 15 distinct characteristics, such as dots, ridge endings, crevices,bending lines, formations of islands (hollow circles and ovals), comparativelyshort ridges, and bifurcations (Y-shaped forks-in-the-road). The average fingerhas from 30 to 40 such markings.The police use computers to evaluate finger and hand prints (Well, DUH). Thedata on known persons is stored as numerical formulas. For ID purposes, printsare compared with the data stored in the computer, which delivers a report ofthe specifics and formulas required to identify a given person.
YOU'LL NEED:~~~~~~~~~~~~
* an indelible extra-fine tip marking pen, the finer the better
* a magnifying glass, at least 10 power
* a double-edge razor blade
* a pair of tweezers (pointed-tip is best)
* a pair of nail clippers
* ordinary Drano (The powder, not the liquid shit.)
* healing salve or ointment
* lots of gauze
OVERVIEW~~~~~~~~
Skin is basically made up of two layers. The outer layer of the skin is calledthe epidermis, and the sensitive vascular meaty portion of the skin below theepidermis is called the dermis. The shapes of the blood vessels in your dermisdetermine the shape of your epidermis.Drano is basically composed of four parts;50% is small, various-sized white granules of sodium hydroxide, also known ascaustic soda, or lye.35% is sodium nitrate.15% is filler made up of sodium chloride (salt) and aluminum powder.For your purposes, you only need the smallest white granules of lye.(If you can somehow get hold of pure lye instead of Drano, all the easier. Butdon't expect to find it at your friendly neighborhood drugstore.)
THE PROCESS~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Using the magnifying glass and the fine-tip pen, dot the core and delta, aswell as any outstanding groups of characteristics, on one of your fingertips.
2) Take the double-edged razor blade and snap it in half lengthwise. Twist onepiece lengthwise again and break it in half. You should now have one quarterof the blade, with a scalpel-like edge.
3) Taking the edged piece, carefully cut a straight line 3/32 of an inch througheach dot right into the epidermis, but NOT into the dermis, which would drawquite a noticeable amount of blood. Think "papercut."
4) Using the tweezers, pick up a small pellet of lye and insert it into one cut.As soon as the lye combines with your bodily fluids, a chemical reaction willresult that will last approximately one minute. And yes, this will hurt. Itwill, in fact, hurt like fucking hell. You may want something to bite downon.
5) The lye will burn a dark circle 3/32 of an inch in diameter into the dermiswith little or no damage to the epidermis. Repeat the procedure with eachdot.
6) Taking the nail clippers, carefully clip the epidermis around the edge ofeach circle. This will expose concave cavities filled with semiclear jelly.(In case you're wondering, this jelly is burnt skin.)
7) Clean the cavities with ordinary soap and water and apply your salve. Tryto get yourself a salve with what they call "three-way" healing properties.This means it'll have an antibiotic, a local analgesic, and an enzyme (whichwill dissolve the burnt connective tissue lining the cavities). One brand-name for this stuff is Elase. Shop around, read ingredients, etc.
8) Wrap your finger in gauze, then repeat the entire procedure on all finger andthumb pattern areas as well as any significant palm print characteristics.
Within about a month your fingers will have healed. You should have obliterated(or at least seriously altered) any outstanding groups of characteristics. Thetotal count on any one finger will now probably number around 10 - 15 points orless. As an added bonus, you'll have destroyed your cores and deltas, therebymaking an accurate classification and ridge count impossible as well as changingthe corresponding specifics and formulas. This makes it a bit harder to get anaccurate file of your prints back into a computer should you ever be unfortunateor stupid enough to get printed again.The healing process of severely damaged tissue, especially burnt tissue,permanently scars the epidermis, causing the misalignment of the ridge lines inthe pattern area. Therefore, a before-and-after visual examination would showthe fingerprints are similar but couldn't prove conclusively they are identical.And a before-and-after computer evaluation would indicate the fingerprints donot match and conclusively are not identical.Congratulations. And wear gloves next time.
I wonder if it works on toes too?
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FINGERPRINTS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Wolf J. Flywheel
Okay, you're probably thinking "But it's impossible to change your fingerprints!Everyone knows that!" Most people (including various flavors of cops) blindlybelieve that, but it just ain't true. So shake that particular bit of societalprogramming out of your head and read on.
DISCLAIMERS~~~~~~~~~~~Be sure to read through this entire file before attempting anything!This file is for informational purposes only. The author (that's me) doesn'tever do anything wrong (heh) and is not responsible for any consequencesresulting from anybody actually following the procedures in this file, includingbut not limited to bodily harm, legal trouble, world destruction, and/or spilledbeverages.I haven't personally done this, but have been assured by someone who has as toits reliability. This individual, in order to elude the law, did successfullychange his fingerprints. While at large for a number of years he was arrestedand fingerprinted six times, both in the United States and Canada, for offensesranging from bank robbery to attempted murder. Computers always returned theresponse "Unknown" when requested to search for a criminal record.If you've been printed by authorities before, and they should get a hold of youagain sometime in the future, it may just be better for you if they didn't knowthat you just happen to be, say, the "unknown accomplice" in the Okie CityBombing. Or Nicole Brown Simpson's "real killer." Or Kevin M!tn!ck.Whatever.If you're going to change your prints, it's best if you first research all youcan find about fingerprints and their applications in forensics. Here are thecliff notes for you lazy types, but if you are serious about doing this youshould at least take the trouble to hit your local library and crack a book ortwo.
FINGERPRINTS~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fingerprints are classified according to ridge line patterns. These patternsare divided into three main groups; the arch, the loop, and the whorl. Theseare further divided anto eight subgroups; the plain arch, tented arch, radialloop, ulnar loop, central pocket loop, double loop, plain whorl, and accidentalwhorl.Prints are filed and classified by "ridge counts." The ridge count is thenumber of ridges between the core (the center of the fingerprint pattern) andthe delta (the formation in front or near the center). The delta is a pointon the first fork, a meeting of two ridges, an abrupt ridge ending, a dot, apiece of a ridge or any point upon the ridge at or nearest to the center ofdivergence of the type lines. It is the position used as the starting point forridge counting.Each ridge that crosses or touches an imaginary straight line drawn from thecore to the delta is counted. A different count is made for each finger. Thisis because while one right index finger may register a count of 7 ridges, theleft index finger may only count 3. A fingerprint point identification is basedon 12 to 15 distinct characteristics, such as dots, ridge endings, crevices,bending lines, formations of islands (hollow circles and ovals), comparativelyshort ridges, and bifurcations (Y-shaped forks-in-the-road). The average fingerhas from 30 to 40 such markings.The police use computers to evaluate finger and hand prints (Well, DUH). Thedata on known persons is stored as numerical formulas. For ID purposes, printsare compared with the data stored in the computer, which delivers a report ofthe specifics and formulas required to identify a given person.
YOU'LL NEED:~~~~~~~~~~~~
* an indelible extra-fine tip marking pen, the finer the better
* a magnifying glass, at least 10 power
* a double-edge razor blade
* a pair of tweezers (pointed-tip is best)
* a pair of nail clippers
* ordinary Drano (The powder, not the liquid shit.)
* healing salve or ointment
* lots of gauze
OVERVIEW~~~~~~~~
Skin is basically made up of two layers. The outer layer of the skin is calledthe epidermis, and the sensitive vascular meaty portion of the skin below theepidermis is called the dermis. The shapes of the blood vessels in your dermisdetermine the shape of your epidermis.Drano is basically composed of four parts;50% is small, various-sized white granules of sodium hydroxide, also known ascaustic soda, or lye.35% is sodium nitrate.15% is filler made up of sodium chloride (salt) and aluminum powder.For your purposes, you only need the smallest white granules of lye.(If you can somehow get hold of pure lye instead of Drano, all the easier. Butdon't expect to find it at your friendly neighborhood drugstore.)
THE PROCESS~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Using the magnifying glass and the fine-tip pen, dot the core and delta, aswell as any outstanding groups of characteristics, on one of your fingertips.
2) Take the double-edged razor blade and snap it in half lengthwise. Twist onepiece lengthwise again and break it in half. You should now have one quarterof the blade, with a scalpel-like edge.
3) Taking the edged piece, carefully cut a straight line 3/32 of an inch througheach dot right into the epidermis, but NOT into the dermis, which would drawquite a noticeable amount of blood. Think "papercut."
4) Using the tweezers, pick up a small pellet of lye and insert it into one cut.As soon as the lye combines with your bodily fluids, a chemical reaction willresult that will last approximately one minute. And yes, this will hurt. Itwill, in fact, hurt like fucking hell. You may want something to bite downon.
5) The lye will burn a dark circle 3/32 of an inch in diameter into the dermiswith little or no damage to the epidermis. Repeat the procedure with eachdot.
6) Taking the nail clippers, carefully clip the epidermis around the edge ofeach circle. This will expose concave cavities filled with semiclear jelly.(In case you're wondering, this jelly is burnt skin.)
7) Clean the cavities with ordinary soap and water and apply your salve. Tryto get yourself a salve with what they call "three-way" healing properties.This means it'll have an antibiotic, a local analgesic, and an enzyme (whichwill dissolve the burnt connective tissue lining the cavities). One brand-name for this stuff is Elase. Shop around, read ingredients, etc.
8) Wrap your finger in gauze, then repeat the entire procedure on all finger andthumb pattern areas as well as any significant palm print characteristics.
Within about a month your fingers will have healed. You should have obliterated(or at least seriously altered) any outstanding groups of characteristics. Thetotal count on any one finger will now probably number around 10 - 15 points orless. As an added bonus, you'll have destroyed your cores and deltas, therebymaking an accurate classification and ridge count impossible as well as changingthe corresponding specifics and formulas. This makes it a bit harder to get anaccurate file of your prints back into a computer should you ever be unfortunateor stupid enough to get printed again.The healing process of severely damaged tissue, especially burnt tissue,permanently scars the epidermis, causing the misalignment of the ridge lines inthe pattern area. Therefore, a before-and-after visual examination would showthe fingerprints are similar but couldn't prove conclusively they are identical.And a before-and-after computer evaluation would indicate the fingerprints donot match and conclusively are not identical.Congratulations. And wear gloves next time.
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